To Be So Alone
by Zahut-um
Summary: A one-shot first person description story. It contains minor gore and sex scenes. Read and Review.


**Author Note: **This is a drama fiction generated from a D&D session. There are gore and sex scenes so if you don't like these kind of writing, don't read. Also, I have to say, that the song which is written there is not mine. It's taken from the Gollum's Song, from The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers soundtrack. For those who haven't the soundtrack, it is heard at the end of the movie, in the credits.

_Where once was light,_

The sound of swords clashing on steel armor echoed throughout the large kings' halls. There was blood everywhere. Men in full-plates fighting, with swords, spears and even bare hands, the undead beings which dared to attacked the mighty ruler of this puny world. He always ruled with justice and he was known to be a benefactor in all senses the word can produce. Goodness and fight toward evil was the main politic of this man. This man who tried to kill me and destroy my master along with her divine powers.

Now darkness falls... 

The skeletons were battering with their maces and spears on the living, soon dead, guards of the crown. The beautiful smell of fresh blood filled the room and in that exotic ambient I ordered my undead servants to bring me, the still alive, king. For some reason he did not fear his death, nor he tried to rebel or escape, he just looked at me with that pitiful look. "May your soul find peace and not eternal torture." He said. The quote was obviously pointed at me. I couldn't restrain myself and unleashed my anger toward him, cutting his head off.

_Where once was love,_

The children were happily playing on the green grass-filled plain while their mothers would cook the meals for them and the fathers of those. Soon after the launch, the mess would start and a celebration would be held in honor of a young couple linking themselves in the "holy" bond called marriage. In a forest near this village lived an elven druid, surrounded by vast nature and dedicating her life to care the animals and plants who needed care. But she wasn't the alone humanoid being there. Her lover, an elven ranger lived near, showing his loving for her

Love is no more... 

I thought that I lost all mortal traits. Was I wrong? I consulted my master and she told me that they will always exist, only they are soon replaced by hatred toward those same traits that hold men together. And so I killed, I slew, I slaughtered, murdered, dispatched, cut the life of those living beings I was told I hate and maybe it's real that I hate them, as before becoming what I am I hated myself so much and I still feel the same feeling toward the human myself. The wives were dead, the fathers torn and the children lying bloodless on the grass plains.

_Don't say goodbye,_

Now that I betrayed your trust by letting myself fall to the ground I farewell you, master, and prepare myself of going to where I haven't been before. Those humans, why had to be them? Why them? I could tolerate losing to another undead or to a dragon or a celestial being, but not to a human. And a boy above all. How could he even hit me with that weapon of his? How did he manage to hurt me? How? Nobody ever hurt me, at least, after my master did. Now that he holds me in his embrace without helmet I see I made a terrible mistake by coming here.

_Don't say I didn't try._

The paladin in gold full-plate armor, standing at the center of the holy symbol painted on the floor of the head church, walked toward me holding tight his blessed silver sword. His armor of masterwork craft reflected the light of the moon which sprang from a tiny hole on one of the paintings on the roof. This illuminated a symbol on his left gauntlet which for some reason impressed me and I didn't move. He walked slowly, getting every moment closer to me, but I didn't react. Not even when his blade began falling above my head.

_These tears we cry,_

I never had a happy life. From my father abusing me, my sister beating me and my mother ignoring me, the only rope tying me to this world was my little brother who I protected and taught the good ways. Those same good ways I repent now, to not having chosen. I remember that one day you didn't returned from an assignment and they told me you were dead. My chest hurt and felt like it wants to smash the heart by tightening so hard. I could not resist that pain. It was too much for me, so fate made me encounter her to whom I pledged eternal servitude.

_Are falling rain,_

I didn't quite knew what my brother meant to me until it was too late. I cried alone in the room I and my brother shared, as we were too poor to have separate bedrooms. The tears couldn't stop falling and it continued like this for more than a month you didn't returned. When I got over it, even if I didn't really, I just managed to stand and walk, and when I was walking near the forest that was between our hutch and the village I noticed a passage which I never saw before. I took it and find myself in front of an evil altar hearing voices in my head.

_For all the lies you told us,_

You said you would help me, that you would release me from the pain I felt at that time. You told me that humans were weak and stupid. That it is inevitable to die if you are human and that you would certainly suffer before attaining the so called liberation. So you materialized before me and I took an oath of servitude if you would save me from the pain and you bit me. It was the last time I felt emotions, I felt fear. Never again I could distinguish evil from good. All you left me with was desire to feed myself with blood.

The hurt, the blame! 

After seeing my fangs my sister cried out a loud shout, my father remained shocked immobile and my mother wasn't even there. My two long sharp teeth struck and dig two holes in the girl's neck from which I could suck the red liquid to drink. When I finished only a mummy remained of what was once my sister's body. Then I moved to the shocked men. I slowly unplugged his pants and took his shaft which became hard in my mouth. Then, before the man reached pleasure, I ripped it from him and made him engulf it, so they were dead.

_And we will weep to be so alone,_

And I remained alone, but not alone. I always heard your voice in my head and you always talked with me, but I had none else left, not even the feelings of loneliness or sadness. So all that remained was an automatic reaction my body kept producing. And every time I hurt someone a tear of blood was spilled from my eyes and sometimes the tears just kept falling from the solitude this body felt, even if I had you with me. But even if I murdered and destroyed, I never felt guilt, the opposite I was proud of myself and wanted you to be also.

_We are lost,_

Did I ever ponder, why I don't follow the ways I believe in? Did I ever ruminate, why I do keep hurting people? Why I can't stop now? It is just for the blood? You once told me that I must drink in order to survive, but I often just behead or torn into pieces the living beings I encounter. Their interiors often lay on the ground, while their brains is eaten by my servants, but the heart. The heart is most often untouched. Unlike others from my kin I seldom eat them. Maybe that is derived from the fact that the bodies are too many to feed with.

_We can never go home._

Home is where someone feels at home, but if he can't feel at all, is there any home destined to him? If it was, if it is, why I never tried to go there? Is it because of the sun, wanting to hurt and burn both of us, my master? You said we can't leave the world as it is. You told me that our homes don't exist anymore for us. Maybe you are right on behalf of everything as always. I can't keep blaming you for all, it was my choice and mine only after all. I resigned long time ago not to turn back on things that didn't happen even if I wanted to.

So in the end 

Now, when the last drops of life serum fall from my eyes, and I think of the past I should feel bad for what I've done but I can't. Now, that I'm held by him and his left hand caresses my cheek, his eyes in tears over my lifeless body looking at him, I can't understand why am I still hearing your voice as a friendly one. There isn't much left for me in this world. The peace was broken and the souls of those who did that had already been burnt, but still the final travel for me is still coming wherever it will take me.

_I'll be what I will be,_

I was born as a human, as a little girl who always cried, but I had become a vampire and I became tied to you more each day I passed with your company. The difference between us is that you never felt something, you still are what you were born as. And you look like it and act like it, but I do believe you were lonely, as myself, and were just searching for some comfort. What rights have humans to even try to break these bonds, the one linking a master and her servant. And now, even if I can't live, not even as a dead, I will still die like I've been born.

No loyal friend 

Nobody ever really cared for me. Servant are what they are and they obey until they are dead. So do I. But friendship is something I'll never have. You were just using me to fulfil your desires. When you touched me with your hand around my breast and French kissed me, when you moved your tongue and made my body itch, when you played with your fingers around my clit and stimulated it and even when you pressed your against mine and rubbed them, for reaching common ecstasy, you have done it always only for yourself.

_Was ever there for me,_

The time has come for me to leave this world. And I'll say it. Say that we two are the same, we are like copies of each other. We care for none and are cared by an equally large amount of beings. Those rapturing moments passed quickly and we only did that. We used each other for our selfishness. I can't think of anybody wanting me with him, may it be a male or female or both or even something in between, nobody will stay with me even you didn't. But at least now I have someone who cries for me, but you...

_Now we say goodbye,_

Now I'm held looking at my lost brother's figure while it is crying. He has grown as had his sunset brown hair. Now that I think of it, it has been years I don't see the sunset. So good being a vampire. Brother, why do you care? I say something but hear nothing. Seems my time is up. Now I can feel. I can feel again. I'm just happy for him, to be alive and to have grown so strong and proud, but I'm sad at the same time for not be able to live with him or say that forbidden words to him, that "I love you."

_We say you didn't try,_

I see his face in tears, for the last time, before my sight obfuscate in dark red shades, till it fades to nothing. I can't remember anything. Can't tell if this is true or dream. Deep down inside I feel to scream. This terrible silence stops me. Now I fly with one remorse. Not seeing my own blood of course. Or having sensed the danger that had come. And killed my brother while being prone. The evil succubae had drunk him fast. While he was still laying on the dust. The dust belonging to me. Now my brother I could see...

_These tears you cry_

_Have come too late_

_Take back the lies_

_The hurt, the blame!_

_And you will weep_

_When you face the end alone_

_You are lost_

_You can never go home_

_You are lost_

_You can never go home_


End file.
